Duch's Verdict

Yesterday, I gathered at the site of the Khmer Rouge Tribunal (the ECCC) to listen to the judgement of Duch, the former commander of S-21, the regime's most infamous prison and torture center. Hundreds of Cambodians, from near and far, and journalists gathered to witness the historic moment.

As the judge read the summary of Duch's guilty verdict, I was moved to hear the narrative of his crimes. Although I had read of and heard an account of the crimes of S-21 many times in books and films, hearing the legal summary help to legitimize and validate the suffering of victims like those in my family. I was glad this was now entering the official historical and legal record.

A generation since the Khmer Rouge years, some survivors still have a hard time understanding what happened to them. They wonder if it was as bad as they remember it. Some start to downplay the impact of what happened. After all, everyone they know went through similar trauma. Maybe their story isn't so remarkable.

But to hear the judge utter these terms - "extermination," "torture," "murder," and "crimes against humanity" - it did help to acknowledge that Khmer Rouge survivors are victims of humanity's greatest crimes.

Like most Cambodians, I was upset, however, by two things - the reparations and verdict.

As far as I can tell, the reparations to victims amounts to a compilation of Duch's apologies which were negated by his last-ditch request for acquittal. Further, the remaining sentence for Duch of 19 years means he could be freed in his lifetime.

Cambodians have no faith in the justice system. I cling to some shred of hope that the ECCC prosecutors have strategically lessened Duch's sentence in order to gain his cooperation for the upcoming prosecution of higher-ranking KR leaders.

The victims, civil parties, all Cambodians were so despondent yesterday. I hope that the ECCC eventually redeems itself.

More Than a Number

We are so proud to share Khmer Legacies testimonies at the More Than a Number Exhibit running now at the American Textile History Museum in Lowell, MA. You can view the film below.

More Than a Number Exhibit
April 17 - July 25 2010
Wed. - Sun. 10 am - 5 pm
$8 Adults; $6 Seniors, Students, Children; free for children under 6
American Textile History Museum
491 Dutton St.
Lowell, MA
www.athm.org

3rd Annual Taste of Southeast Asia

Our annual fundraising event in New York City to mark Cambodian New Year was a big success! We raised $7500 thanks to our guests and sponsors. Thank you to all of our sponsors including World Foods, Chef King Phojanakong of Umi Nom & Kuma Inn, Chef Chris Johnson of Bao Noodles & Wa Sake, Bennett Media Studios, Fresh Ginger Ginger AleTang's Natural Dumplings, Singha Beer, Monsoon Valley Wines, Golden Star Sparking Tea, Beer Lao, and WorldtoTable.com

Check out this video of the event!

Thank you to Junenoire Mitchell for these wonderful photos of the event.

Thank you to all of our volunteers!

Nicole Aiossa
Patricia Alejandro
Rebecca Bowes
Pisea Chea
James Christie
Courtney Fukuda
Michelle Hom
Bin Bin Jiang
Gabriel Grant
Andrea Kirk
Robert Li
Colin Lim
Daniel Littlewood
Junenoire Mitchell
Eric Morse
Etan Ofrane
Charis Shafer
Nick Shelton
Kathy Song
Heidi Steinberg
Mabel Tso
Nicole Velasco
Linn Yen

Tanzania - Genocide Prevention Forum

I just returned from Tanzania where I spoke at the Second Regional Forum on Genocide Prevention, sponsored by the governments of Switzerland, Argentina and Tanzania. The private conference was full of dignitaries including Dr. Francis Deng, Special Advisor to the UN Secretary General on the Prevention of Genocide and Mass Atrocities, the former President of Tanzania Benjamin Mkapa, and Dr. Edward Luck, Special Advisor to the UN Secretary General on the Responsibility to Protect.


It was a huge honor to be invited to speak to these policy makers about Cambodia and genocide prevention. I've never been in a room in which every time someone opens their mouth, they must begin with, "Excellencies, Ambassadors, Ladies and Gentlemen."

(from left to right: me; Eduardo Acevedo Diaz; Director General for Human Rights ad Interim, Argentina; Rodolfo Matarollo; Advisor of the Ministry of Justice and Human Rights, Argentina; Edward Luck , Special Advisor to the UN Secretary General on the Responsibility to Protect)

I came to respect the mature dialogue among many African countries about the need to prevent genocide in their region. It was a very encouraging symbol of progress.

Thank you so much to Prof. Andrea Bartoli and Mo Bleeker, Director of Political Affairs, Switzerland for extending the honor to me.

Rosie Radio

I'm going to be interviewed about New Year Baby and Khmer Legacies on Rosie Radio on Monday, Feb. 15. Here's information about where to tune in:

Listen to Rosie Radio
Mon - Fri: 10 am ET - 12 pm ET

Rebroadcasts (All times ET):
Mon - Fri: 12 pm - 2 pm & 8 pm - 10 pm
Sat - Sun: 8 am - 10 am, 2 pm - 4 pm
& 8 pm - 10 pm

on SIRIUS Ch. 102 & XM Ch. 155

Listen 24/7 Online
SIR Ch. 815 | XMRO Ch. 94

Check out the new newyearbaby.net!

The new New Year Baby website is up! A thank you to Charles Vogl, Bjorn Cooley, Jesse Pinuelas, and James Vogl for all of their hard work.

3 Generations

The organization 3 Generations also records stories of survivors of genocide and mass atrocities from all over the world. They are highlighting the work of Khmer Legacies on their website this month. We're hoping to create a collaboration with 3 Generations, an organization started by Jane Wells, the producer of The Devil Came on Horseback. 3 Generations will edit a short video of some of our testimonies and we'll help them transcribe some of their Cambodian videos. You can read the treatment here.

Never Forget

Check out this very well-written and powerful article written by Mike Patterniti of GQ Magazine. I had the chance to meet him in New Haven a few years ago when he was interviewing Prof. Ben Kiernan for the article.

The article is about the question of justice following the Cambodian genocide. You can read it here.

Witness Highlights Khmer Legacies

The human rights media organization Witness is highlighting the work of Khmer Legacies this month. They interviewed me about the role of video in human rights. You can read their treatment here. Thank you to Teague Schneiter for all of your hard work.

Podcast with US Holocaust Museum

The US Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC just interviewed me for their podcast series, Voices on Genocide Prevention. You can listen to it here. Thank you to Bridget Conley-Zilkic for the interview!

Screening at UConn

On Oct. 06, Van and I drove to Storrs, CT to show New Year Baby at the University of Connecticut. UConn has amazing support for Asian and Asian American students in the form of the Asian American Cultural Center, run by Angela Rola. I told Angela that I am jealous of the support they provide which exceeds what we enjoyed when I attended Smith College and even what I've observe here at Yale. Later, I learned that the center and changes to the student code regarding harassment were born out of a discrimination episode in 1987.

The screening was very well attended and an informal reception followed. I enjoyed meeting the students, a few of which had written papers about New Year Baby. I always get a kick out of hearing that! Thank you so much to Cathy Schlund-Vials who helped to initiate the event. I hope to visit UConn again!

Congratulations Bou Sonith!

I am so proud to announce that one of my board members, Sonith Peou, has been honored by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation with a Community Health Leader Award. Here's an excerpt from RWJF's press release: "his efforts to assure access to culturally competent health services for the large Cambodian-American community in Lowell, Mass. The Metta Health Center integrates primary medical care, behavioral health services and refugee health assessments with traditional medical practices such as Buddhist monk consultations and traditional healing, acupuncture and nutrition counseling. Peou’s leadership and tenacious outreach efforts over eight years have resulted in a 150 percent increase in Southeast Asian patients, with the Metta Health Center now serving more than 5,000 patients."




I attended the gala in Washington, DC at the Mayflower Hotel where the awards were handed out and a video about each fellow was premiered (http://www.communityhealthleaders.org/news_features/article/56153).


I am especially proud because I nominated him for the award. Congratulations Bou Sonith!

Genocide Documentary Filmmakers/Lovers of Life!

I had the extraordinary opportunity to speak on a panel called "Genocide Survivor Testimony in Documentary Film" with some very lauded documentary filmmakers at the USC Film School. Being asked by the Shoah Foundation to present and then of course to sit next to Emmy and Oscar winners was a huge honor.

We covered many subjects including the ethical and moral concerns of the video testimony process, the maintenance of video archives, and powerful role of documentary films in genocide activism.

After the panel all of us went to dinner together and dared each other to not talk about genocide for the entire evening. Though we strayed a few times to learn about our each others various "war stories," we mostly succeeded. Being socially conscious doesn't preclude being fun-loving too. I got home way too late that night.

You can watch a video to the panel discussion here.

From left to right: Michael Renov, USC School of Cinematic Arts Associate Dean; Anne Aghion, filmmaker; Ted Braun, filmmaker; Socheata Poeuv, filmmaker, founder Khmer Legacies; Andi Gitow, UN Films; Karen Jungblut, Institute Director of Research and Documentation; James Moll, filmmaker; Stephen Smith, Institute Executive Director.

Finally . . . We're Engaged!

For those of you who know Charles, my longtime boyfriend and the producer of New Year Baby, and I, you will not be surprised to learn we recently got engaged.

To satisfy all of your curiosities, here is how it went down:

Charles and I met at the top of Duomo in Florence. We were both backpacking alone through Italy when I turned around and asked him to take my picture.

Well two weeks ago, Charles took me on a surprise date to the largest cathedral in New York City, St. John Divine. Under the dome of the cathedral, with a stringed orchestra in the background, he proposed. I was not entirely surprised, but was deeply moved.

A Time to Remember

Last week, my parents and I participated in several genocide commemoration events in Washington, DC. It was an honor to be able to represent the Cambodian survivor community at a Save Darfur event in front of the White House.

Although I have had the opportunity to speak many times in groups of 20-500, my parents are relatively meek immigrant Americans who have always shied away from the spotlight. The extent of their public speaking has come after a few screenings of New Year Baby when they answer questions from the audience.

My mother spoke briefly in English and then said a prayer in Khmer to remember the millions of lives lost during the Cambodian genocide.

I'm very proud of them. They loved being a part of this event.

I also had the chance to meet Carl Wilkens, one of my personal heroes. Just two weeks early, I had invoked Carl's story when speaking to college students at Babson College and UMass
Amherst. Carl saved over 500 people during the
genocide in Rwanda, and he was the only American in the entire country during the 4 month tragedy. You can read more his story here.

We also joined 80 members of the Cambodian community to commemorate the 34th anniversary of the Cambodian genocide at a solemn candlelight vigil. We shared stories of our loved ones, our sorrows and even our anger at the lack of justice.

We visited the beautiful Cambodian Buddhist temple in Silver Spring, MD - the largest of its kind in the country. Celebrating Cambodian New Year was truly a pleasure there.

San Francisco

Recently Charles and I returned from San Francisco where I spoke on a symposium panel about refugee rights with the Rotary Club . It was a well-organized and well-run event. It's obvious that the Rotarians in San Francisco play their part to help alleviate suffering in the world.

While I was there, I recorded the interview of Denise Tan's mother, Sotheavy, about her amazing survival story. Denise made wonderful introductions for me to the Cambodian community in the Bay Area including the dynamic community leader Elizabeth Sy who founded Banteay Srei and social worker Limyi Heng.


Also through Denise, we met David Nakabayashi, Creative
Director at Industrial Light and Magic. He gave us a private tour of George Lucas's amazing special effects studio. It was a great thrill and we've already made many of our friends and family jealous. Thanks to David and his staff for their generosity.


And thank you to our wonderful friends Stephanie Morimoto and Matt King for hosting us in their beautiful home.

Focus Group in Lowell

This past weekend, I conducted a focus group in Lowell, MA, the second largest Cambodian community in the country. I regret not doing it a long time ago when I first conceived of Khmer Legacies.

With the help of Harry Schnur from the Lynn Community Health Center, Khmer Legacies Boardmembers Sonith Peou and Samkhann Khoeun, Linda Sou of Lowell Community Health, we conducted two separate focus groups - one with the older generation and one with the younger generation.

The reactions we got to the work of Khmer Legacies was overwhelming positive. Yes, this is important work and someone should be doing it. Yet there seemed to be so many questions about readiness. Are older survivors ready to talk? Is the younger generation ready to listen?

I began to question the nature of leadership itself. Is it the role of Khmer Legacies to draw the community toward a higher level of consciousness and contribution? Is that a presumptious and potentially dangerous position given the trauma the community has faced. Is the best way to serve the community to challenge it?

Any thoughts from you would be helpful . . .

NACA

Charles, Bjorn, Mabel and I attended NACA this past week in Nashville, TN. We met hundreds of college students from all around the world. We were there to introduce me to students and programmers who were looking to bring various educational and entertainment experiences to their campus.

I remember the first time I entered the marketplace. Housed in a huge hotel ballroom, hundreds of booths lined the room, all of them featuring some act which tried to catch the attention of overwhelmed and overstimulated college students.

I could not believe it but I was literally pitching my genocide work next to a Build-a-Bear workshop and live pythons. How could I compete? For a moment, I wished that I was marketing something sexy and appealing.

At the conference I heard Caryl M. Stern, the President of the U.S. Fund for UNICEF, give an emotional talk about her work to save the lives of millions of children around the world. She gave a powerful appeal for the room to commit their lives to something bigger.

The talk reminded me that in terms of emotional impact, we have a huge advantage over all the hundreds of confections that are peddled at NACA. Ideas like justice and healing hit you deep and stay with you. They hold the possibility of changing the course of your life.

Thank you to all of the students I met last week! I hope to see you again.

Khmer Health Advocates

Last week I visited Khmer Health Advocates (www.hartnet.org/khmer) in West Hartford, CT. An organization that began its work in the early 1980's with the first wave of Cambodian refugees, the founders have been unflagging in their committment and dedication to the Cambodian community. Theanvy Kouch and Mary Scully are inspirational for their longevity and generosity.

They both voiced strong support for the work of Khmer Legacies and we hope to find ways to use their networks to record testimonies in Connecticut. Mary told me that although Cambodians make up about half of all torture victims in the United States, Cambodians are not categorically recognized as torture victims by the UN. Cambodians themselves, have a hard time articulating their experience of starvation, over work, and sometimes worse as torture. As a result, many resources that could have been directed to serve them are not.

It reminded me that this work is important - if only to document and acknowledge the lives to Cambodian survivors. As long as we are not able to give voice to these experiences, the community still suffers from an undistinguished pain.

First Board Meeting

We had our first board meeting ever this past Saturday. I was so nervous about the event. It is one of the necessary steps that any organization must take in order to run functionally.

And yet I had all of these anxieties and fears about the board members being disengaged in the work. I have heard so many horror stories of ineffective boards. I also feared that I am not a good enough leader to warrant the energy and trust of these important community leaders who spend their time doing such important work.

No matter how frightening, I had to pull the curtain behind the operations of Khmer Legacies since inception. But Jane Jung, a Yale MFA student who is helping me manage the board, reminded me that the board members want to see me and Khmer Legacies succeed.

And that was exactly the tone of the meeting. I am so glad to know they have my back!

EG

Charles and I went to the EG conference (www.the-eg.com) this past week. We had an amazing time. We really felt like we were meeting the Leonardo Da Vinci's of our time. Joshua Bell performed, Teller of Penn & Teller spoke, and Nicholas Negroponte inspired us all. I was told that you can view some of the presentations on the TED website (www.ted.com) in the coming days.

I did not expect to find Cambodia connections there, but I did! Nina You, companion to Mike Hawley (the organizer of the conference), and her father. Sophal Ear and his expecting wife. Dimitri Negroponte who lived and worked in Cambodia.

I also met the most amazing woman named Tan Le. She's a Vietnamese Australian woman who co-founded a company called Emotiv (www.emotiv.com). Using the latest developments of neuro-technology, her company has developed a headset which facilitates non-conscious human computer interaction. Check it out - it's straight out of science fiction.

The conference inspired me to take risks and play a big game with my life. The presenters and participants play at the highest level in several areas of the their life. To wit Mike Hawley - not only was he an MIT professor and entrepreneur, but also a champion of the Van Cliburn competition!

An Honor in Los Angeles

In November I went to Los Angeles to receive the iWitness Award from Jewish World Watch, an organization formed through a collaboration of Southern California synagogues concerned to raise consciousness about the mass killings in Darfur and about genocide throughout the world.

I was honored to be recognized by Jewish World Watch for the work I have done in launching Khmer Legacies, and was pleased to have the opportunity to speak to students and community leaders from the Cambodian community at the award ceremony.

While my short-term mission has been to preserve the testimonies of survivors and the history of Khmer Rouge atrocities, my long-term goal is to add the voices of Cambodians to the collective voice of communities speaking out against genocide. This conviction guides my own work as it does, I believe, the efforts of Jewish World Watch to raise a "call to conscience."

The award itself, seen in the picture, is a shofar, a Jewish horn sounded on Rosh Hashanah to stir the conscience.

A Courageous Soul

My friend Bou Dith Pran died yesterday.

His life was depicted in the film, the Killing Fields. For most Americans, the first and perhaps only time, they heard about the Cambodian genocide was through his story.

I met Bou for the first time when I was 22 years old as a recent college graduate attending the Asian American Journalists Association convention. When I introduced myself to him, he was so excited to meet another Cambodian American journalist that he immediately took me by the hand to introduce me around to his friends. He's a hero in that community and immediately became my best advocate.

I invited him to dinner with my family because he was missing some good Southeast Asian cooking. At dinner my sister bluntly told him that she though her experience during the Pol Pot time was much worse than what was depicted in the movie, the Killing Fields. He looked her squarely in the eye and said that he agreed. And in that look, I recognized that there was an understanding.

He will be missed.

Asheville, NC - Keep it Weird

Showed New Year Baby at the Fine Arts Theatre in Asheville, NC last night. Asheville is wonderful little mountain town with lefty tendencies, a lively art scene and eccentric townies.

The turnout was good and the audience seemed really moved and engaged with the film. A recurring theme in these screenings has been the one Cambodian in the audience. None of the stops on my Southern Circuit tour are home to large Cambodian communities. But there's always one.

He was very moved by the film and shared with the audience his family's story. When his mother was three months pregnant, her husband was killed by the Khmer Rouge. Instead of being named the "lucky child," he was repeatedly called a curse by his own mother. At the end of the night, all I could do was give him a hug.

Welcome to the South . . .

I had my first screening last night in High Point, NC as part of the Southern Circuit tour of independent filmmakers (www.southarts.org). For the next two weeks, I'll be showing New Year Baby in nine different cities. Good thing I got a massage yesterday (thank you John and Astrud!).


We had a modest crowd, but one audience member in particular made it all worth it. A Cambodian American woman in her 50's was there with a van-load of her Anglo American sponsors from a local Presbyterian church.

Her story was very similar to my family's: surviving the Khmer Rouge, adopted surviving extended family, fleeing to Thai refugee camps. She was very moved by the film and told me about her son who is very near my age. He harbors, she fears, a surprising anger projected toward Cambodia and life in general.

It reminded me that even the second generation is effected by the trauma of the Khmer Rouge time whether it is expressed in guilt, over-achievement, or anger. What makes it worse is that often times, we cannot identify what is at the root of these emotions.

I gave her a copy of the film and told her that perhaps her son would like to see the film, hoping it would spark a new kind of conversation. She seemed grateful.

A New Year . . .

We've had an amazing year of New Year Baby screenings all over the world. Though it may feel like the life cycle of the film is closing, in many ways, it's just getting revved up again in time for the national PBS broadcast on May 27, 2008.

2008 will also be a pivot year for me - channeling all the energy from New Year Baby to Khmer Legacies - my new project to videotape testimonies of Cambodian genocide survivors. We're starting by videotaping testimonies in the New York City with the Cambodian community there.

Coming a Long Way

We had our largest fundraising event yet last night where we raised more money in a single event than ever before. The theatre was packed.

We invited some students from the Bronx Ghetto Film School who filled up the first two rows. They had helped us test screen an early rough cut of the film and it was great to invite them to see the final product. When I re-entered the theatre as the credits started to roll, I heard the tough Bronx teenagers sniffling and saw them wiping their eyes. When I met them almost a year ago, their only reference to Cambodia came from the Dave Chappelle Show.

I took questions and made an appeal for donations to support the outreach campaign. I felt very confident about the ask, mainly from new coaching I had gotten from public speaking coach Jeremy Nash (http://www.communicationatwork.net/index.htm). I came into my first meeting with him thinking that I would get coached on where to put my hands and how to speak eloquently. But Jeremy taught me that it's less important what you say than who you're being in that moment. Allowing my true self to shine through is what allows you to connect with people. That's what makes people magnetic. Jeremy was a kind, compassionate and generous coach. After one session with him, I don't think I will go into any meeting with the same old "tools" again.

Happy to be Home

Richard and Marcia are back at home in Santa Ana, California. Both are happy to be in their own beds, but miss the convenience of push button services like food and nursing like they enjoyed in the Bangkok hospital.

They are both still in pain, but they are treating that appropriately. They're grateful for the love and support of friends and family nearby who are cooking dinner and doing grocery runs for them.

James and Amy leave Bangkok for Orange County soon as well.

Charles and I leave for home tomorrow after a New Year Baby screening tonight in Phnom Penh. Charles is less sore.

Together

We just said goodbye yesterday to our last guest from the Cambodia tour.

It was amazing what a strong bond we created in the past ten days.

On Friday Feb. 16th, Charles, his parents Rich & Marcia and our guest Ron Ardres were in a vehicle accident on a dirt road from Koh Ker to Preah Vihear. They were in an SUV when the driver lost control in a fish tail situation. The vehicle left the road and rolled over twice. It came to a rest down a small rise, on it's side and facing the direction from which it came.

Only Charles was wearing a seat belt and walked away from the accident. He was hit on the head by the collapsing roof but no bleeding. He then directed a valiant evacuation operation. The others were badly hurt and at the time, we did not know what kind of internal injuries they suffered.

We were traveling in a 6 vehicle convoy. Thank goodness we had both Dr. KG Bennet and M.D. Kenway Louie on the trip. They responded to the injured right away. One guest described the response as “superhero”. I think it is an apt description. There was no cell reception there so we could not call for help. The doctors assessed that all four of the more seriously injured could be driven to Siem Reap about 3 hours away. Thirty minutes later, after KG’s second examination of Marcia, he & Charles created a spine support for her out of bush wood and clothing.

Charles’s parents suffered spine and head trauma. That evening they were evacuated to a Bangkok hospital.

While Charles, KG, James (Charles’s brother), Amy (James’ long time partner) and I were at the hospital, the rest of our guests convened at the Hanumanalaya.

Later they told us that at dinner, though there was plenty of space at 4 tables, all thirteen crowded around a single table for eight. They couldn’t bear to be separated that night.

While Rich & Marcia are in pain, all doctors agree to expect a full recovery in time. Ron hurt his foot and prefers to treat it himself. Charles of course keeps ticking. James & Amy are still in Bangkok with Rich & Marcia.

From Cambodia

For the past few days, I have been in Cambodia, introducing the film to various NGOs here which work in the area of justice and human rights. My goal is for them to see the film, love it and want to use it in their programming as they gear up for the Khmer Rouge Tribunal.

So far, we have two screenings set up - one in Phnom Penh and one in Siem Reap. The organizations seem to be very excited about the possibilities of collaboration.

I have not been in Phnom Penh for two years and it's like I can see the city changing before my eyes. There are more cars here now and ever before. Today I saw a red Hummer and a yellow Miata. There's construction everywhere.

I confess, I cannot wait until our guests arrive from America and England. I love playing host to tourists. It's like being able to experience a place for the first time again through their eyes.

Our host, Nick Ray and Kulikar Sotho, could not be more generous. They have made our stay incredibly easy and elegant. Nick and Kulikar run one of five companies, including Hanuman Tourism (www.hanumantourism.com). They are Cambodia experts and wonderful people. I am grateful to call them friends.

All is Well

Recently I've made the decision to cut the umbilical cord and quit my full time job at NBC News in order to be a filmmaker full time. Just that simple decision brought up a lot of fear and anxiety that is beyond the realm of what is rational.

Sometimes I would feel exhilerated, like this was the beginning to my real life. Like I was ready to take off like a rocket booster. Other times, I would ride the subway and look at all the New Yorkers around me, wondering how come they can be comfortable and secure and I cannot.

My mother, who is part of the minority of people in this country who have experienced losing everything, said to me, "I can't believe I have a daughter who might be homeless." That comment didn't help things.

But what I've resolved for myself is that there's a real difference between getting paid for your performance versus getting paid for your time. I'll never measured for my performance in this particular job. It's like a golden glass ceiling.

So here I go stepping into the unknown. And I choose to step into it from all is and will be well.

There is no crying in doc filmmaking!

While I was editing New Year Baby with my editor Sandra Christie, we sometimes would talk about why I made the film. And I've told her more often than not that I didn't make it to win awards. I told her, "If we don't get into Sundance, I won't even cry."

Well, I lied.

A few days ago, we found out that though the programmers' repeatedly expressed respect for the film, we didn't get an invitation. As I wrote an email to our crew, I shed a few tears, while searching for everyone's email in my contact list. I realized that I wasn't crying out of disappointment that the most famous indie film festival in the world passed on us. I felt like I let our crew down.

Everyone who worked with us did so with sacrifices -- and they were usually monetary. I wanted to be able to show my gratitude for their talent by bringing this film to the most visible level of success, so their work could be highlighted. And what Charles and I realized is that not getting into Sundance keeps us hungry. We're even more motivated to make this film a creative and business success. And judging from the overwhelming response at IDFA, the sky is the limit.

Little did we know IDFA audiences would rate NYB among the top 10 of the more than 173 international films here. I am very proud.

And the winner is . . .

Recently, Charles and I saw the movie Little Miss Sunshine. We both laughed and cried and talked about it for hours afterwards.

The moral of the story is that life is a series of beauty contests. It occured to me that Sundance is just another beauty contest. And I didn't come up with the rules. I didn't even sign up for them.

I realized that the main reason I would be disappointed if we don't get in is for our crew. Everyone has worked so hard to make this film as good as it can be. They really have invested their hearts into it.

But I know the film will find its audience - whether it happens at Sundance or in a village in Cambodia.

Speaking of Genocide

Last Sunday, Charles, Joanne, Leslie and I were at the Save Darfur Rally in Central Park. We volunteered for Human Rights Watch and listened to speakers and singers. I was impressed by two things: 1. how many young people were there (at least 60%) 2. how many Jewish groups were there (as many as 50% of the groups).

It occured to me that Cambodian Americans aren't organized to tell the history of the Khmer Rouge. Therefore they're not organized to advocate for the prevention of genocide.

As Cambodians, what is the conversation we bring to the world? I don't think we have one. Not yet anyway.

Speak Your Peace

This past week, I attended SEARAC's (Southeast Asian Resource Action Center) Leadership Training in DC. Over three days, we developed an advocacy agenda and took it to Capitol Hill. I couldn't believe how easy it was to waltz right into Capitol Hill and speak your peace. If the Congressperson's staff is smart, they should be eager to hear what you have to say.

Our group of six spoke to Sen. Hillary Clinton and Rep. Al Green's office about the problem of mental health in the Southeast Asian community.

I met a lot of wonderful people at the training. And out of it, two projects have been birthed:
1. a Cambodian American women's professional group called Bong Srei: Khmer Sisters
2. a how-to guide on how to honor your parents in the traditional Khmer way.

What It Takes To Make a Film

Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed by this project, I think to myself that I'm doing this all alone. It's my responsibility to make the story work. It's my responsibility as the director to make a great compelling film that people will remember.

Yesterday Charles and I created the credits list for the film. There were 194 lines! We couldn't possibly acknowledge everyone who has ever volunteered at a fundraising party or given an hour of time.

I saw in the document the support it took to make this film happen. How presumptous of me to ever think that I am alone.

Go Mets!

Today, one of our supporters, Chris and his brother Basil Stamos invited us to a Mets Game at Shea Stadium in a sky box. It was a gathering of young activists, artists and entrepreneurs -- such a New York room.

It was a great chance to see Leslie Morioka and Raj Gandesha outside of a conference room. It was a great opportunity to acknowledge the Stamos brothers for being who they are for the world.

Mets lost, but we left with a high.

What's a Film Without an Intern?

We have our first intern! Her name is Sara Newens and we met at a Women Make Movies event. Duties will include helping us with footage research, helping us coordinate fundraising events and petting our dog. Thanks Sara, in advance, for your enthusiasm and support.

A Flood of Support

My editor Sandra and I have been noticing that my voice over is a little less than brilliant. It's somewhere in between the Today Show and VH1 Where Are They Now?

We were racking our brains, trying to think of a writing consultant. We came up with no one.

We sent out an email to filmmakers on our list.

I got 34 responses with people offering their help or referring me to someone else. Many of the people were strangers who totally got turned on to our project from the website. So many people want to contribute to the film. It's wonderful to feel so supported.

Soundtrack to My Life

We've been working recently with our composer, Gil Talmi. It's such a delicious treat to have someone write the perfect soundtrack for your life. I highly recommend it. I have asked him to create honest and organic sounding music. I recently watched scenes that I have seen a billion times. With the perfect music, it was like watching a brand new scene.

Friday the Dog

I got Friday on my birthday a few weeks ago. She is my very first dog and so adorable as you can tell that I often forget that she is animate. She looks like a stuffed dog. Here's the new Broken English Productions mascot!

Thank you to Patrick and Phillip

I'm posting this thank you to two friends. - Socheata

"Yesterday, Socheata Poeuv (Director of New Year Baby) spoke to a room of senior UN Officers and several embassy diplomats at an event hosted by the Soros Foundation's Open Society Justice Initiative. The other three speakers included the Cambodian Ambassador to the UN and two crafters of the upcoming Khmer Rouge Tribunal. Socheata was invited to both speak and screen the 9 min trailer of the film. This was an opportunity to introduce our mission and the film's quality to the highest level diplomats working in Cambodia and the world on human rights.

When I arrived, one of the organizers handed me a projector he didn't know how to operate. No one knew how to operate it. There was also no DVD player. We didn't know if the projector was even compatible with my computer. I couldn't make it work within the 30 min. to start.

Then friends and doc filmmakers Philip Eisenstein and Patrick Horner arrived only to support our work. They not only spent the time hunched over the gear to make it work, Patrick pulled out his own laptop to sync with the unexplained projector. They got it to work briefly and then when it was time for Soch's talk the lamp bulb would not turn on. In that 12th floor room of diplomats overlooking the UN Building, while others listened to the conflicts of international law. Patrick and Philip sat in the front row pressing every button on the projector, rebooting the computer and everything they (and I) could think of. They got it to work before the end of the event!

The crowd laughed and cried. The hosts later told us the trailer was the high light of the event. A multi-Emmy award winning documentary maker passed Soch his card. The Justice Initiative expressed interest in using the finished film for their outreach in Cambodia and Socheata has a new relationship with diplomatic human rights community.

This is all possible because Philip and Patrick showed up and were totally unreasonable and unstoppable"

-Charles Vogl
Producer
Broken English Productions

California Dreamin'

Just returned from a visit to LA. Tuesday I met with the UCLA United Khmer Students Association. The gathering was an intimate one amid a rare rainstorm in Southern California. I was excited to find that the students were visibly moved by the trailer. Some of them shared that this project inspired them to interview their parents about their survival story. Thanks to Seng Peng for setting this up.

On Wednesday, I met with three staffers from the Shoah Foundation at USC. Thank you, Chaim Singer-Frankes for your support and encouragement. I wanted to learn everything I could about their process with a mind toward developing a project modelled after Shoah to archive videotape testimonies from Khmer Rouge survivors. What they have done is astounding and incredibly impressive. They have recorded 52,000 interviews from Holocaust survivors. All are catalogued and indexed to be keyword searchable. What a task!

I asked them how many funds they acquired in seed money to start the project. All three staffers piped in at once -- anywhere from $11 million to $100 million to be exact. I became so intimidated by the project I created.

Then I remembered that 2.5 years ago when I started this documentary, I thought I could finish it in one year and with a mere $75,000. Sometimes naivete is the access to courage.

She's a Brickhouse

The subject of my fim -- the story of how my family survived the Khmer Rouge genocide -- took place a generation ago. Like a number of docs, we have the challenge of covering events for which there is no video. I'm not a big fan of the slow push into a black and white photo a la Ken Burns.

There is one anecdote, I'm especially keen on illustrating. A childhood moment when my mother refused to tell me anything about her past and suddenly put a brickwall. But this is a film; what would I show? Today, the guys at IMI (International Masonry Institute) in Long Island City came to my rescue by constructing a brickwall for us to shoot!

Thank you to Dennis Holloway, Kenny LaValle, and Alfredo Reyes.

First Day Live for the NYB Blog!

Thank you to Elliot Mebane from Roguish Studios and Kevin Johnson from Kintera for taking us live!

Welcome to a blog about the making of my documentary film New Year Baby. In the future, you can come here to follow my journey from idea to PBS!